Happiness

A couple of years ago I had a conversation with a stranger, as I often do. This man is a juvenile sex therapist and family counselor. I don’t remember his name, but I do remember the conversation clearly wherein he shared his perspective of happiness with me by saying, “Happiness, or the lack thereof, is determined by happenings; so what’s happening with you?” A couple of Saturday's ago (Jan 10) this is what was happening with me…

I took a drive east and went out to Lake Oconee. The further away from the city I got the less guarded I felt and the more emotionally transparent I became. The air was cleaner, my senses heighted and with each mile the pounds of stress causing my shoulders to tighten melted away. I can now appreciate the desire to maintain a lake house for family retreats.

I ventured over to the Ritz Carlton’s Reynolds Resort for lunch at Gaby’s by the Lake. The scenery, as you can image, was quite picturesque. This place is certainly a piece of peace. I sat there observing nature’s perfection and I was immensely thankful for God’s infinite wisdom. With my guard completely down, I allowed the water to lull my soul as the breeze kissed and caressed my cheeks with each change of the wind’s direction. I became full as I thought about how much God loves me and how He knew of this moment long before I was born and created it perfectly for me. The sky was so very clear, the evergreens stood along the lake shore with perfect posture and the sun peeped out as I was leaving the restaurant, to see me off. I took a walk along the shore and through a part of the resort to ingest the magnificent energy before leaving.

As I turned out of the resort I received a phone call from an acquaintance with whom I’d been playing phone tag with for over a week (if it were anyone else – except maybe Stank, I would not have answered). His energy is a quiet boom which grants me a surreal and deafening calm, so hearing his voice further induced my Zen like trance. He was taken aback when he learned that I was retreating ‘by myself’. I made the point to him that I don’t think I should put my life on pause because I don’t have a significant other in my life. He's a very smart and reasonable man, so he agreed with me. :) [Of course I would love to meet a man with whom I can transparently love aloud, share all of myself with and build a family with; but in the meantime, I will not hold my happiness hostage nor allow the absence of a man in my life to be a reason for putting my life on pause.] We continued to converse, catching up on each other’s Advent season, work life, dating experiences, possibilities, etc.

When our conversation ended I climbed inside my head as I continued my drive home. I am truly enjoying this season of my life and pray for discernment, so that I may move in a productive direction and find myself in places and situation where my energy is the most effective. I am so very truly thankful that all my needs are met, Gabrielle is healthy and evolving beautifully, I have deeply rich friendships, an interesting family and living inside of me is this awesome colorfully creative being with a free & happy spirit, echoing strength and embodying a peace which surpassed my understanding. While I certainly look forward to the next chapter, I am fully present and appreciative of NOW, right now. Thank you Father!
So as my life continues to play out, not knowing when it will expire, I’ll continue to work hard, exercise discriminating discernment about how (and with whom) I spend my time, make choices in a way that does not compromise forever and explore all God has richly given us for our enjoyment.

Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. 1 Timothy 6:17